Writing Update: Deciding to Embrace Decisions

I have been experiencing an inadvertent fallow period. (I say “experiencing” rather than “enjoying” because I am constantly accompanied by a heavy side of guilt for not progressing faster with Fox Story). With work demanding more of my time the last few months, I think this was my mind’s way of balancing what pays my bills with what is important to me.

Revisions have been daunting to me for a variety of reasons. It is basically the opposite of the adventure and excitement of drafting. You trade exploring for city planning. My wise CP and friend Katy Pool wrote this post about revisions that I have been taking to heart for a few weeks now. Revisions were always a to-do list of “Fix This, Delete That, Add This” for me, and it really helped me see my story in a whole new light. It also made me feel like I could make about a million decisions. Your choices are nearly limitless! Just start choosing! Why is that such an overwhelming thing?

See this thread, which reminded me how much we have to combat decision fatigue to write after work. Understanding why you feel drained is the first step to defending against it! Being presented with the freedom to make a bunch of decisions is exciting, but it is not easy. Fear of making the wrong choice can be crippling. What if you choose the wrong option? Your brain wants you to believe that Irreparable Disaster will follow. Then this common proverb floats into your mind: “Just go with your first choice: it’s your gut. Don’t get side-tracked by other options.”

Nope. Your gut can protect you in a flight or fight situation, sure. Intuition can be a guiding factor, sure. But your gut is also lazy, because as we have mentioned, decisions are hard and burn some calories. We rely on short-cuts to combat fatigue. If you go with your first choice for a plot point or character arc, you are pretty much guaranteed to be going with the wrong one—a short-cut that is no fun for anybody. So that means you can’t ignore the other options! You are supposed to generate several choices in order to roll past your brain’s lazy answer and get to the good stuff. #science

This brings me to Maggie Stiefvater & Court Stevens’ 7 Sentences Seminar, which was a bit like spending 9 hours in an “I didn’t study for this test!” dream sequence. My friend and I traded slightly panicked looks as we went through the process of taking an idea from concept to ready-to-draft in one day. (Yes—idea, premise, mood, setting, plot, character, language—one day). What they explained was that to be an author you must write many books, and the faster you can do that the better. But writing a book requires so many decisions, some of which you can spend months mulling over. Behold: this seminar will give you a process that speeds up your decision-making and allows you to solidify the book sooner, thus writing it faster. What better way to tell me to stop being afraid of making decisions? The entire day was spent making decisions, and making them quickly. It was exhausting—and by the end, it was also not scary.

Because it doesn’t matter if you make the wrong choice when you can follow it to the end quickly and go with the next option, and the next and the next. You know when to trust your gut (because it has been working hard and not just giving you an instant answer). You know because you had some failures—and that’s normal. And only those failures let you know when you’ve landed on something Good.

After several weeks of this, I feel like a plant drowning in water. Occasionally I buy a plant to neglect and when its leaves droop, I overcompensate, almost kill it again with care, and then sigh with relief when it grows taller and stronger than before. As haphazard as the past month has been, I drowned my drooping leaves with inspiration and information. I feel refreshed and ready to plunge into Fox Story with a more realistic lens and plenty of resources when I inevitably get stuck further down the road. It’s spring, even in Denver: new beginnings, new goals, renewed energy!

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